Essence of Life

College and its horribleness that includes work.

Wow I haven’t been on here for awhile. The only reason I actually came on was because I got spam mail on my anonymous box. -.-

                               

Like it told me my account had suspicious behavior and I had tried resetting but couldn’t and I just did a wole bunch of steps.<—-ew that sentence sounds so messy.

                         

WELLLLL, so far college has not been exciting. I had other things in mind. I had hoped it would be more “fun” or maybe I wish I was dorming. But nooooooo, I didn’t want to take loans out. sigh…I’ll talk about this later….maybe in 2 weeks. I have finals next week. I am scared as HELL. I have a calculus final, chemistry final, a seminar final, and I have to gather up my English portfolio and so I hope other teachers give good grades on my papers…which reminds me. I submitted a paper that was worth 40% of my grade and I hope I do okay. I had forgotten how much it was worth and did not work as hard as I wanted on it. :( I need to get an A in this class!!! D: I’ll explain the detail on why I need to get an A there later.

                          

Did I mention how scared I am for my finals? especially calculus and chemistry. I feel like they are going to kick my butt!!! ahhh!!! 9 chapters of material in Chemistry, and I think 7 chapters of material in Calculus!!! SOOOO Scared. But the thing is, I can never focus. The image below describes everything I feel:

           

Whenever I sleep, I feel like I should go study and do work. Then whenever I sit down to work I feel tired and I just want to go to bed and sleep and sleep and sleep.  sighh this is a horrible cycle!

Dissapointment but excitement day

                                 

So…I didn’t do anything productive today. I actually fell asleep and woke up at 7 today. I had no energy whatsoever! Then I started watching my soap opera and by the time I noticed the time, it was 11 PM. So then, or currently now,I am rereading my book for World lit and need 20 more pages to finish reading/reviewing it, but I wanted a break and came here :). You see, I want to get an A again but on my own without so much extra credit in that class. It’s such an easy class, that I feel it is my responsibility to earn it. That way if I do get extra credit, I don’t have to worry so much about my finals..

                  

One class that worries me is Italian! It’s so easy, but the tense thing is messing me up! I don’t know when to use my tenses and this new and final one we are learning is sooo confusing. I think I am falling behind. I didn’t even get time to review anything to be prepared for that class. Thank God that tomorrow is movie day and so I can review tomorrow. However, tomorrow sucks because if they don’t cancel my music class for the snow storm tomorrow, I have to practice piano! :( and I haven’t practiced. I have been a bad music student.

     

This makes me so happy because I love snow storms! Love Love LOve them. They make me feel cosy to be inside and happy because I can go play outside and have FUN in the snow, like when I was small. I am wishing that they close down school. They haven’t closed the schools down since the first year I came to Chicago and I was barely 5. I am excited. We’ll see how things turn out!!

LAZY

I hate it when I get lazy. I hate it. I get lazy to wake up, to eat, to go outside. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being outside and enjoying life, however, getting outside is my problem. I feel so comfortable being inside and not dealing with being social (yeah a bit hermit like but HEY), but it’s just me being lazy. It has always happened and this is why I am always late for any appointment, whether its friends or school.

Today I am suppose to go over a couple of friends house to work on my anatomy project but that would mean rushing to leave the house because I am already late. ANd I don’t want to go because I am being lazy. ughh.

Finals have been Finalized

                                  

Now that finals have finished I feel I can relax and star over. For me, finals meant  NO SLEEP.  I always say that I am going to be more organized, but by the 3rd week I have worksheets from other classes in different folders and I am lost at how to fix my mistakes. However, this second semester I AM going to change my habits… I want to. I want to be organized by the time I get to college. I know I am suppose to get senioritis or will be getting it, but I want to avoid that and form new and better habits.

I DO NOT want this. Lol, that was me for my AP Psychology class and when I took AP Chemistry. My plan is to sit down everyday as soon as i come from school and work on my homework. Maybe even go work out like I use to and lose all this extra weight I have because of the dang “vicious cycle” and midnight snacks.

I do not want to look like this anymore or feel like that lol.

Now I am off to bed. One of my goals is to keep this tumblr thing updated and get hooked to blogging.

Off to sleep like a baby :)